Conflict Coaching and Management For Today’s Youth

Our kids are our future. Stop and consider how their roles have changed and evolved and children throughout the last several decades over the years. Did a child in the 60s or 70s and a child in the 80s or 90s differ? Here we are now, almost 10 years to the new millennium, an age of technological advances that are amazing, powerful competition for material and achievement profit, changes in gender roles and most importantly, changes in family dynamics. Life is constantly changing and this will be expected. We are an ever expanding society. However, with dramatic shifts in behaviors and social norms within the past 30 decades or so, can educate and we expect to raise our children when we were young, which was in nonhuman households, as we were taught? We will examine three individual scenarios which have been taken from a recent household dynamics analysis. All 3 cases are families in the new millennium brought up in America.

Three Family Dynamic Case Studies

Sheila is an 18-year-old teenage girl starting her freshman year of school. She has two sisters and lives at a home with her parents. Sheila’s father is an insurance adjuster and her mum works as a secretary. Growing up, Sheila was predominately a straight A student, using a limited social group of friends. In the household perspective, she would appear to be a kid product from the middle-class family that is typical. Sheila can be a drug addict. Learn more – Therapists In North York | Individual & Couples Counselling Services

Mark is a 20-year-old young guy and a sophomore in college. He is a product of a broken house and has a younger brother. When he was three years old his mother divorced his father. She attended college in the evenings and was the primary provider for her family. Mark was an average student during high school, was active in sports and had a wide variety of friends. He is majoring in elementary education and is active in local youth programs that are Christian.

Maria, 16, and Luis, 17, are brother and sister and live in the Bronx. Their mother is on welfare when they were toddlers and they were left by their father. They attend the regional high school which covered in iron bars and is patrolled by security. Violence and drugs are rampant. Maria is found security and a student in solitude, while Luis has been detained on several occasions for theft and drugs and will barely graduate from high school.

These are only a sampling of those differences in kids, their family dynamics and how they deal with conflict. Obviously, every child has their own story, their own accounts of the failures and their successes. Every child is a product of our society and our family values. We’re now nearly ten years and we now observe how it has affected the household unit and how society has changed, as we review the past several decades. 1 part of life that has never changed is conflict. Conflict is and always will be part of life. However, how we handle conflict has changed and conflict education and awareness is at the forefront of this age. See: Therapists in Fonthill, ON | Child & Youth Counselling Services

Conflict Defined

In her essay, Conflict…A New Perspective, Julie Fauimano, MBA, BSN, RN, Success Coach, defined battle as”two or more individuals seeing things from various perspectives, given their education, background, upbringing, knowledge of the matter, beliefs, time of day, mood, etc.. .”. Simply put battle is a diversity of consideration. From this brief definition we see that battle is much more than just a disagreement, but rather a blend of resources ranging from our education to our mood. Most hear the term battle and associate it as a negative behavior. Many times when someone disagrees with our position we take it as a personal assault and we jump to the defense. However, conflict can be positive if we allow ourselves to be open to perspectives and fresh ideas to an issue.

History has shown that we often don’t think about battle till we need third party support to help us sort out our difficulties. Mediation, counseling, and litigation are all methods of conflict resolution. In the last decade, more focus is being put on the psychology aspect conflict by studying parenting styles, family dynamics, social interactions, and conflict resolution education. We have always correlated disputes with a lawsuit, or in the judicial sense. Now, we are taking a look at conflict and battle management proactively by attempting to understand what drives individuals personally, and the way we can educate society, beginning with our kids in fixing issues in a positive, productive way. Contact Dalton Associates for inquiries.

Parental Impact and Behavior

As we think about our three cases in the introduction of this paper. All of these children are teens struggling to live and find their way in the current world. Each child is from a different cultural and religious background, each representative of a family unit. Add to this the varying parenting styles, societal influences, their predetermined character traits, personal goals, and life experiences and you’re able to understand how every individual approach conflict in a different way.

With all the many influences on our kids today, parents are the #1 influence. We are our children’s role models. Parenting styles and their effects on children are studied through time and have been broken down into three classes: Permissive, Authoritarian and Authoritative. Understanding the three styles of parenting in relation to conflict resolution is the initial step in understanding how kids think, act and respond within their environment.

The Authoritarian Parent. Authoritarian parents expect their children to obey their rules and frequently use punishment and reward to keep their children. With authoritarian style parenting, some kids don’t feel comfortable communicating their own feelings such as fear of disappointing their parent or punishment and strive to please their parents to prevent punishment. Some kids rebel against their rules or even might resent their parents.